Why do we, as women, take such a dim view of ourselves? I have so many beautiful friends who have such low self-esteem I just want to shake them and shout "can you not see how stunning you are?" It always seems so easy when you tell someone they should feel better about themselves, but it is never that easy to feel it.
It seems to me that we are all so horribly driven by men that we cannot really see our true beauty. I know that every time I have gone through a break up, or a similar boy related rejection the same thoughts run through my mind: "if only I was prettier, smarter, sexier, slimmer, had bigger boobs, was cooler then this wouldn't have happened." We try so hard to fit an impossible mould that we (and the opposite sex) never really see the real person behind the facade. Eventually when we start feeling a little more comfortable and the mask slips a little, we get scared and so do they and it all goes wrong. We assume its because we have shown our true nature and they didn't like it - there is something wrong with us. Yes, perhaps the true colours scared them off, but what do you expect? Having spent an inordinate amount of wearing someone else's shoes (which are clearly only ever meant for sitting down and not for walking or running) suddenly your other half hasn't got a clue who you are. Frankly if they can't take your 'real' side they weren't right for you, but it doesn't stop that awful feeling that you are the problem. Why are we all so frightened to be ourselves, why can't we accept that we are pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough (or even fat enough)? Why do we allow others to influence our lives so much that we simply lose sight of who we are and what we value deep down?
As I write this, I can hear you all shouting that I should step down from my soap box, my shoes aren't meant for standing up for such extended periods of time and the heels are buckling under the pressure. I am constantly pretending to be someone else, desperately clinging to the hope that if I look/behave like a certain person I will almost become that person and life will miraculously be better. But who is to say that person has any less issues than you do? They could be just as depressed as you, if not more. Appearances are definitely deceiving.
Why, oh, why can't we see ourselves for who we really are and be proud of that person? Proud of all our foibles, idiosyncrasies, flaws and (imagined) rolls of fat? I know it is a cliche, but honestly how can you expect someone else to love or respect you when you don't love or respect yourself? Find your values, live by them, be who you are and be proud of it.
I will now climb down from the soap box; the heels have finally given way. Time to buy a new pair of shoes...