Who Am I.... 24601

Firstly, if you get that reference, you’re my favourite....!

A little while ago, I wrote about the fact I was having a bit of a "crisis of wardrobe", and I mentioned in the last blog that I felt that post lockdown both my life attitude and style were changing and likely to change more.

I realise in doing the job I do, comfort is so unbelievably important, so I've taken to wearing what I would have called (in the past) "old lady shoes" and I'm really starting to re-embrace my 'rock chick' side, obsessively wearing band t-shirts, flared jeans and I want to start wearing (faux) leather trousers again (although not the best idea in my profession, or the current 30 degree heat!). Chunky rings, layered necklaces and the like are really becoming my jam, yet part of me feels guilty for turning my back on my “vintage” roots that I have had for so many years.  

I started dressing ‘vintage’ in about 2004 when I discovered the one and only Dita Von Teese.  I’d been a fan of the styles of the past for a very long time, but seeing someone who dressed like they were in the past all the time was so refreshing to me that I started learning about her and her style and the styles of the 40s and 50s and started to wear clothes like hers.  People would question me and laugh and me and so I changed the way I dressed (don’t listen to other people folks, you do you!).  I went more 70s, then, following more comments, I went back to the 50s, then I went to the 60s (I used to wear a beehive every day), then (again after more comments), I went back to the 50s.   Now who knows where I am!?  Too many comments about my appearance in my years of dressing a little unconventially has definitely made me hugely uncomfortable about who I am, what I like and what I am supposed to look like.  People can be so cruel.  And I can be incredibly cruel to myself.

I guess right now I am realising that pigeon-holeing myself into 1 decade isn’t where I need to be.  I still love that 50s silhouette.  I would choose a knee length wiggle skirt over a mini skirt any day, but I just want to pair that with a punk rock tee and some bonkers jewellery (and sadly old lady shoes) and I don’t want to be judged for that.  Some people rely heavily on how they dress to express themselves, and when another human judges them or criticises them for that, they are essentially criticising them as a person.  I am quite heavily tattooed (and want to be more so) and the amounts of times people say “well, what are you going to look like when you’re old?” Judgy much???  You may not like or appreciate the awesome artwork I’ve decided to put on my body, but maybe keep that opinion to yourself.  And, what I’m going to look like when I’m old is a) none of your business and b) going to be f*cking cool.

This has been one of those blog posts that has taken a few days to write as I’ve had to squeeze in writing between working 17 hours a day, being a judge for the Guild of Fine Food, and trying to keep the house in order! I always find it strange going back over a half-written blog as it's impossible to re-find the impetus you had at the outset, so apologies if this doesn’t really flow.

I suppose the point I’m trying to make with this post is to do you for you.  Don’t let other people tell you who you should be, and even though I can guarantee I’ll spend the rest of my life people pleasing and feeling completely inadequate, I implore you not to do the same.  If you dig your choice of outfit/haircut/make-up/jewellery/job or whatever else and it makes you feel really good, rock it, no matter what anyone else says.